


The Three Faces of Green

by nelka7122



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Red & Green & Blue & Yellow | Pokemon Red Green Blue Yellow Versions
Genre: Angst, Depression, Green's life story, I can't do crack tags for this much angst, M/M, POV Multiple, Possibly Unrequited Love, Prof. Oak is a dick, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:43:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6563128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nelka7122/pseuds/nelka7122
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Japanese say that a person has three faces:<br/>The one you show to the world.<br/>The one you show to your close friends.<br/>And the one you show only to yourself. It is the truest reflection of who you are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Three Faces of Green

**Author's Note:**

> This story is rated M due to adult themes revolving around depression and...other things. Basically, it touches on some sensitive topics  
> I wrote this some time ago  
> and it was originally posted on ff.net, but that website constantly kept on messing up my formatting  
> I do not own pokemon  
> I do own this story

Green had a certain reputation around Pallet Town. He was the cocky bastard who always boasted about how great he was, just because his grandfather was a wealthy scientist. He had ambitions and dreams, but many believed that he wouldn’t ever be able to reach them.  
  
Why?  
  
Because he was  
Arrogant,  
Selfish,  
Self-Cantered,  
Cruel,  
Spoiled,  
A brat.  
  
_A bully_.  
Especially to Red.  
That’s what everyone said.  
  
That’s what everyone thought.  
  
But no one really knew Green.  
Not one of them knew Green like he knew himself.  
Not one of them could see that he was not at fault.  
They only saw Green’s “outside persona.”  
  
; ; _The Japanese say that a person has three faces:_  
_The one you show to the world._  
_The one you show to your close friends._  
_And the one you show only to yourself. ; ;_  
  
Green always acted a certain way but his heart was in a completely different place.  
He gave off the aura of confidence, parading around on his expensive bike.  
  
He barely let his Pokémon out of their Pokéballs unless it was to battle and train them.  
He always gave off rude and snide comments about everyone.  
He chased after an unachievable dream at the expense of everyone around him failing.  
He didn’t care who, or what, he had to stomp over to get there, so long as he reached the top.  
He didn’t care, as long as he could reach his own selfish desires.  
  
He didn’t care that he left his best friend behind and ran like the wind.  
  
That was Green, as seen through the eyes of many.  
  
\---

_; ; Are we born insane or is it encrypted in our brains?  
Are we pushed to the edge or do we naturally walk towards it?  
Is our society cruel and are we just tools?  
Or are we to selfish to notice the pain? ; ; _

  
_“At five we were friends, at ten we were not. At fifteen we were rivals and then…You left without a second thought”  
_  
\---

  
Red doesn’t hate Green.  
  
Red doesn’t even know what to feel about Green, but Red is thankful.  
  
Red is thankful because Green in the first person to actually talk to him and be his friend.  
  
Red doesn’t talk much and for that reason, people make fun of him, often saying that he has a mental disability.  
  
He doesn’t. He just doesn’t like to talk.  
  
Green doesn’t mind though, because he can talk enough for both of them.  
  
Every day, they play together, they laugh together, sometimes they fight together, but they resolve their differences. Together. Then the process repeats itself.  
  
And Red is content with that, even if it is just the two of them. Red doesn’t know that his presence repels the presence of others. Red doesn’t see the fact that because of Red, Green is bound to only one friend. Green doesn’t care about that. He only cares about Red.  
  
But something happens and Green breaks. He stops speaking to Red. He stops speaking to everyone altogether. He confines himself to his cramped bedroom, refusing to leave because he believes that maybe, just maybe, if enough time passes, the cruel reality can turn into nothing more than a frightening dream.

  
It’s because Green’s parents are travellers.  
  
They often leave and came back, leave and came back. They occasionally pop in with various rare gifts for Green. They are never unkind, and they leave him in good care, but is that care ever that good? A sister who is barely any older than him and a professor who has his nose too high up in his research to pay the boy any attention.

 

That’s why Green loves Red so much.

  
Because he is his company and Red never leaves.

  
Even when their time to play comes to an end, Red always walks him home and waits until Green is gone before disappearing. The only time Red does leave him is when Daisy politely tells him to go or if his mother comes looking for him.  
  
_But one day can change everything.  
  
\---_  
  
The day is dark and grim. The rain batters endlessly on the windowpane of Green’s room. Green doesn’t necessarily mind because at least he’s with Red.  They’re both curled up under one blanket, watching some cheap horror movie with terrible effects. One of the main characters loses her head. Green winces and Red doesn’t react in the slightest.  
  
Green wonders why that is and when he looks down at the boy, he knows why. His head is buried in Green’s shoulder and he’s sound asleep. Funny how he can just fall asleep like that, with the rain battering on the window and the screams of the movie echoing around the room.  
  
Half way through the most gruesome scene, Daisy walks in on the two and Green jumps, waking Red up in the process. Daisy gives Green a scolding stare. “Green, this movie is rated R. You’re not old enough to be watching that!” she complains as she walks over to the TV and hits the “Eject” button on the VHS. Green rolls his eyes and Red just blinks away the sleep from his.  
  
“Whatever, _Mom”_ He says sarcastically. Daisy shakes him off and turns to Red. “Red, your mother’s here asking for you. She says it’s getting pretty late and you should get back home.” she explains.  
  
Red nods at her and turns to look at Green. Green offers him a smile. “Come back tomorrow?” He asks. Red grabs his hand and squeezes it lightly before letting go and getting up. That’s a “Yes”, and Green can’t help but grin. “Green, you should go to sleep too. Have you seen the time?”  
  
However, as soon as the ravenet leaves his room, Green is left with an empty feeling inside. Red was so warm, now without that presence, he feels cold.  
  
Green, as it turns out, isn’t that good of a sleeper as Red. The rain bothers him greatly and he’s lucky that it’s Friday, or else he’d be miserable when the time came for him to haul his ass out of bed and to school. But as sleep refuses to take him after one, maybe two hours, he finally decides to jump out of bed and get a glass of milk or something to calm his uneasy mind.  
  
Something is definitely not right, Green just doesn’t know what.

 He descends down the twisted staircase and his minds spins, reflecting the steps. A foreboding shadow falls upon him as he takes one step, two steps… and suddenly he’s at the bottom with a terrible force looming over him. He goes forward into the hallway that leads to the kitchen. However, on the way there, he stops as he overhears a noise coming from one of the rooms.  
  
It’s his grandfather. He’s talking to someone. He’s distraught.  
  
“Crash…Neither of…make it…alive” He hears the broken whisper and, curiously, he tip toes closer, pressing his ear against the wall.  
  
“Daisy…my daughter, your mother…your father…they both have passed on” The words echo around the room, around the walls, silently creeping into Green’s heart. He thinks that it can’t possibly be true, and his thoughts are perfectly reflected by his sister suddenly makes an uproar.  
  
“That’s not right! It can’t be true” She screams out, her voice coming out shrill and high pitched. Green’s grandfather tries to calm her down by shushing several times, reminding her that Green is ‘sleeping’ upstairs.

 

But he’s not. He’s standing right there, his heart hammering away at his chest and his eyes growing wide with fright. It can't be true. It can’t possibly be true.  
  
He’s so far in denial that he almost bursts into the room just so that he can get an explanation, but he restricts himself. Instead, he begrudgingly drags himself up the spiral staircase, his stomach turning with every step, until he’s reached the top.  
  
He doesn’t cry that night. Instead, he hides under the covers and tries to process the information, but it’s not exactly possible for his brain. He’s too young to understand, and all the mental strain tires him so much that he ends up falling asleep.  
  
He has vivid nightmares. Scenes from the horror movie fill his mind but instead of the heroine getting beheaded, it’s his mother. Instead of the hero getting disembowelled, it’s his father. Blood splatters the street and organs disfigure the walls with the lumpy flesh sticking to the bricks so easily. The dreams get so violent that Green wakes up thrice in the middle of the night, his body covered in cold sweat.  
  
When morning finally rears its ugly head, Green is so done that he looks half dead himself.  
  
Daisy walks in shortly after, thinking he’s still asleep, but he’s been awake for quite some time now.  
  
“Good morning Green” She says cheerfully as she tries to stir him awake. He knows it’s not a good morning. She can’t hide her puffy, tear glazed eyes from him.  
  
“Daisy, when will mom and dad come back?” He asks quietly. Her eyes widen and narrow, her mouth opening and closing. She hesitates, then lies.  
  
“They’re traveling far away now, maybe they’re in Kalos or Unova, so probably not until next year.”

Green knows very well it’s a lie.

  
“They’re not coming back, are they?” He asks solemnly.  
  
Daisy can’t keep her straight face on any longer. Tears prod at her eyes, threatening to escape. “No” She chokes out. Green doesn’t respond for a while and Daisy is now silently sobbing in his room. He doesn’t cry, he doesn’t know what he should do. He doesn’t comfort her.  
  
Instead, he asks her to leave, and she does.  
  
Green looks outside. The rain is still pounding away at the glass. Green is tempted to let it in and let the cold numb away his feelings.

 

\---

  
Red comes to visit him, as promised, but as Daisy opens the door, she tells him now is not a good time. Red doesn’t understand why because Green promised him, but he doesn’t question this. Instead, he leaves, completely dejected.

 

The next day he tries again.

  
And after being rejected thrice more, he tries again.  
  
On the fifth day, it’s finally sunny outside and it’s Green that opens the door. Red smiles at him but seeing Green’s sunken eyes and flushed out face, the smile drops. Concerned, Red makes a motion to touch Green’s cheek but Green grabs his arm before he can.  
  
“Don’t” He hisses, eyes narrowing. Red furrows his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
“I thought…we could-“ Green cuts him off before he can finish his sentence.  
  
“Don’t think then. There is no ‘we’, Red. There is only me and you. We’re not friends. Don’t group yourself with me” He says with venom in his voice. It’s not right, yet he does it. He watches Red take a few steps back, his head shaking lightly. Green doesn’t watch as Red turns on his heel and runs. He closes the door and slides his back against it until he’s sitting on the cold tiled floor, his face in his arms as tears finally break free.  
  
From then on it’s a slippery slope towards violence and hate. Green is so distant that he can barely recognize himself anymore. He makes friends with the bullies of the school, he gets into several fist fights, and he’s getting more and more desperate, each outburst being more severe.  
  
What is he even looking for?  
  
Attention. Some sort of attention because he cannot handle it anymore.  
  
Daisy is depressed and barely functioning. Professor Oak doesn’t give him the time of day. His whole remaining family is breaking apart and Green is trying so hard to be the glue that keeps them together. He’s trying his best, but he’s not strong enough, and the three become strangers to each other.  
  
He wants to talk to Red but he can’t. He knows that he fucked up severely but he can’t bring himself to talk to him, not in the state he is in right now.

 

But even as everything crumbles around Green, he still tries. He asks Daisy every day how she is doing, even if he gets a curt reply half of the time and no reply the other half.  Given the time, she does get better, very slowly. Oak, on the other hand, is in complete denial. He’s so preoccupied with his Pokémon that he doesn’t have the _time_ to mourn the death of his child. Green can’t save him if he doesn’t want to be saved, so for the time being, Green leaves him alone.  
  
Being so focused on Daisy has its drawbacks. Green doesn’t have time to mourn his parents because of everything around him. He has to be the strongest, and eventually, day by day, the wall around his heart gets chipped more and more, until he breaks. Then it’s not even _just_ his parents that he has to worry about.  
  
It’s Red too.  
  
He and Red are no longer friends.  
  
Red did move on. As Green left him, Red became entranced by the wonders of Pokémon. How they walked, how they communicated, how they used their body parts to convey different messages. Sometimes, in school, Green looks at him as he is staring outside the window, observing some Spearows pecking around the ground for worms. His face so content, so at peace.  Green can’t help but be mesmerized too, and that’s the biggest problem.  
  
Green already knows the bitter taste of rejection. His grandfather is more interested with Red’s sudden affinity with Pokémon than his own grandson. Green is not worthy enough.  
  
And Red is.  
  
He could reconnected with Red.  
He could take the first step.  
He could apologize.  
But he is afraid.  
So damn afraid.

 

He realizes it as he takes those long peeks at Red. He admires Red greatly. He wants to be like Red, in some ways.

Red doesn’t care what others think about him. He doesn’t care about rumours or acceptance, and a part of Green wishes that he could be able to do that too.

 He wishes that he could just not care because he is attracted to Red.  
  
It isn’t just that he admires Red for his strength, for his inability to take offence. It isn’t that Green is attracted to the idea of becoming friends again.  
  
Green wants something more than that, and his dreams prove it.  
  
He wonders what it would be like to hold Red, to touch him. He wonders what the touch of his skin against his feels like. He wonders what the sensation of his lips pressed against Red’s would feel like. He wonders what Red tastes like.  
  
It drives Green absolutely insane.  
  
Thus, he can’t be friends with Red because it is too much of a temptation. He knows that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Red’s smile or hearing Red’s laugh because it would only make the feral urges within him grow stronger.  
  
He’s falling faster, deeper, _harder_ , but he wants to get away.  
  
Because of Oak. Green already knows that his grandfather doesn’t love him very much. Green knows that he’s not wanted. The only thing he does have going for him is his supposed sexuality. Oak wants great-grandchildren, and Green can’t bear to see the look on Oak’s face as he tells him his only grandson is gay, or at least something along those lines.  
  
So he supresses it.  
  
He continues to push Red further and further away.  
  
Days go by and suddenly Green is finished with middle school. He goes up to accept his diploma and knows that it’s time, because two days later, he’s called into Oak’s lab to receive his first Pokémon.  
  
He walks in through the automatic doors, his signature confident smirk ever present on his face. His eyes settle on Red from across the hall and he’s about to run over so that he can get first dibs on the Pokémon when he overhears what his grandfather is saying.

 

“Red, good to see you. How’s my favourite future Pokémon master doing? My grandson should be here any minute now. What was his name again?”    
  
Green stops dead in his tracks. He feels his teeth press hard against each other as he begins to move them back and forth in an attempt to contain himself. Tears threaten to actually prickle at his eyes but he blinks them away as he tries his best to contain himself. His hands curl into fists and he’s digging his fingernails so hard into his palms that his hands go numb from the pain.  
  
He can’t believe it. This is a whole new low, a whole new blow to his confidence. To forget a birthday is one thing, but to forget his god damn _name_ was on a whole new level of its own.  
  
Then to remember Red’s name so perfectly when the two weren’t even related. Slowly, Green closes his eyes. He counts to ten and let his hands relax. Moon shaped curves now adorn his flesh, but he doesn’t care. He reopens his eyes and puts on his best “Look at me, I’m a douche” attitude, because he doesn’t know any other way to act around his grandfather anymore.  
  
“Yo, Gramps. I’m fed up with waiting!” He whines insistently. He barely gives Red a second look but out of the corner of his eye, he can still see him. He’s standing tall with a white and red cap on his head and a matching jacket. The way he awkwardly plays with his fingers is too cute, and Green’s façade almost breaks.  
  
Almost.  
  
“Gramps, do you have a super strong Pokémon for me?”  He asks, the smug look on his face never once disappearing.  
  
“Oh, there you are, er- G-Ga-.“ Green finds this incredibly hard to believe. His grandfather really did forget his name. Although inside he’s breaking, outside he rolls his eyes nonchalantly. “Gramps, is old age catching up to you that quickly? Suffering from premature dementia, I presume? My name is Green. G-R-E-E-N!” He spells it out, his voice cocky with an angry undertone.

He knows that his words are unkind, but he’s using a defence mechanism. He thinks that if he’s cocky enough, people will really see him as confident instead of a weak coward who can’t even face himself, let alone others.  
  
Oak looks at him with disdain. He’s disappointed, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. All it takes is one look in his slate grey eyes. Green just shrugs and Oak picks up two devices from the desk behind him.  
  
“I need to ask both of you to do something for me. This is a Pokédex. It automatically records data on Pokémon you’ve seen or caught. It’s a hi-tech encyclopaedia. Take them with you” He says as he hands both of the boys a Pokédex. He’s hesitant with Green, but reluctantly gives him one anyway.  
  
“To make a complete guide of all the Pokémon in the world. That was my dream. Unfortunately, I’m too old.” The professor says longingly, possibly reminiscing about his past.  Green feels the need to throw in a snide comment. “No kidding”. After a pause and a glare, Oak continues, as if Green never even said anything.

  “I want you… two to fulfil my dream for me.” Green knows why he hesitates. It’s because he only wants Red, but in order to avoid appearing biased, he has to include Green. Oak then grabs a string of Pokéballs and hands each of the teens five of the red and white orbs. “Use these to catch wild Pokémon to help you along your way. Keep in mind that it is against the law to carry more than six with you. The Pokémon you can’t take with you…I would appreciate it if you could sent them my way so that I may study them.  
  
Green takes the belt of spheres and secures it around his waist. He watches Oak’s every move as the old man reaches behind and picks up a Pokéball. He enlarges it and presses the button to open it. With a flash of red, a small Pokémon appears before them.  
  
Green’s eyes go wide with awe as his mind flickers to various articles and news stories. He can’t help but be entranced. She’s even more magnificent in person.  
  
Brown fur coats her small frame. Her tail is long and bushy and an elegant white scarf wraps securely around her neck. She licks her paws and looks up at Green with those large brown eyes. For a moment, Green’s happy. He completely forgets about Red or the professor and instead stares down at the Pokémon below him.  
  
He knows her. He studied the articles and findings. A young man named Bill was very famous for his precise studies on Eevee’s and their evolutions. Green has taken a bit of a fascination to the creature too, but he thinks that Eevee is perfect just the way she is, without any evolutions.

 

Nonetheless, he’s fascinated.  
  
But in another flash of red, she’s gone, and Green’s world comes crashing down in front of him.

 

“Red, this Pokémon will be your starter” Oak says, ready to hand the Eevee to Red. Green can’t possibly let this happen. If Oak ever bothered to spend time with him, maybe he’d know how much Green would love to have an Eevee. Maybe he’d know what Red shouldn’t be the one to receive it. Red doesn’t even seem to care anyway, he’s completely indifferent, so why should he get the first pick?  
  
“No way! Gramps, I want this Pokémon” He acts on impulse and snatches the ball out of Oak’s hand. Before even waiting long enough to hear his grandfather’s outburst, he quickly turns on his heel and dashes out of the lab without a second thought. He won’t let anyone take Eevee from him. He’s not in the mood to hear it.  
  
Oak is indeed disappointed in him but makes no sign of showing it. Instead, he takes a Pokéball out of his pocket and hands it to Red. “That Pokémon was supposed to be yours but I’m afraid there is no reasoning with my grandson. Instead, I want you to have this Pokémon I caught earlier.” He says as he presses the white sphere in Red’s hand.  
  
In a bright, luminescent flash, a yellow creature appears; one with pointed ears and a zig zag tail. Red turns on his Pokédex and points it at the creature.  
  
“When several of these Pokémon gather, their electricity could build and cause lightning storms. It keeps its tail raised to monitor its surroundings. If you yank its tail, it will try to bite you.” Red puts the Pokédex away and bends down so that he’s on the same level as the Pikachu. “Pika?” The Pokémon looks at him quizzically.  Red reaches out to touch the creature and because of the Pokédex entry, Pikachu is almost threatened, but instead of touching the tail, Red gives him a pat on the head. “Pikaaachu” Pikachu responds and bumps his head up to rub against Red’s hand.  
  
Red takes out the Pokéball and shows it to Pikachu. The yellow mouse shakes his head and Red understands, so he extends his arm and the Pikachu dashes up to rest on his shoulder. “I knew I made the right choice” He can hear Oak say. Red only gives him a curt nod in a sign of thanks and leaves the lab.  
  
Green is waiting for him outside with a look of pure determination. “Hey Red. Let’s battle” He says, the smugness in his voice replaces by humourless sincerity. That’s because he feels angry; absolutely livid, even. Between Oak forgetting his name and Red being the one originally destined to receive the Eevee, Green has the right to feel angry. Green has the right to feel hurt.  
  
Red agrees to the battle.  
  
The Pikachu hops down from his arm and stands proudly in the middle of the road, his red cheeks charged up with electricity. Green looks down at his hand where Eevee’s Pokéball is resting and sends her out to meet her opponent. Before Red can issue a command, Green starts from his side.  
  
“Eevee, tackle”

  
And thus they battle.  
  
But it doesn’t last very long.  
  
Pikachu’s thunder shocks are too powerful and Red comes out as the victor.  
  
“What? Unbelievable! I picked the wrong Pokémon!" Green exclaims as Eevee is sent back to the Pokéball. He finds himself saying that because he doesn’t want to appear weak to Red. He chose the right Pokémon, but he starts thinking that maybe perhaps he is a bad trainer. First day on the job and already losing to a kid who barely even talks. Red is just better at everything, and this time it is no different.  
  
Green knows that he has to get stronger, but he faces his defeat like a true warrior. He digs around his pocket and hands Red a wad of crumpled up Pokédollars equating to ¥175.  
  
"Whatever! I'll make my Pokémon fight to toughen it up! Smell you later, Red!" He exclaims with hands rolled into fists as he turns and runs away.  
  
Red doesn’t have the same ambitions as Green because his goal in life is different. He figures that he might as well follow Oak’s instructions because he can accomplish someone else’s goal while chasing his. In the deepest part of Red’s heart, he knows that he wants to chase after Green and not the championship.  
  
He wants Green back. _His_ Green.  
   
But he’s still always one step behind.

Through Viridian and up to Pewter, Green passes the town by without a second glance because he wants to challenge the gym leader as soon as possible. He catches a few Pokémon along the way, with Red following slowly behind him.  
  
Red arrives at Pewter once Green is already long gone. He beats Brock, although it is extremely hard to do with only his Pikachu.  
  
“You got spirit kid. I’ll tell you, my last challenger was not as pleasant as you. Good strategy, but very poor bond with his Pokémon”  
  
Red doesn’t know what to feel about this comment. He’s seen the way Green looks at Pokémon and finds it hard to believe that this was Brock’s last challenger before him. The board doesn’t lie, however, and Red has to accept it.

 

Yet Green is not heartless. The moment Brock is beaten, he heals his tired Pokémon and lets them out to play. His Eevee and newly captured Pidgey are more than happy to have his attention.

 

 He watches as the two tumble around the grass, trying to play something along the lines of hide-and-seek. Eevee thinks that as long as she keeps her eyes closed, Pidgey can’t see her, and Green can’t help but laugh at how silly it looks when Pidgey pecks her on the head and she jumps up, startled that she was discovered.  
  
He throws them both a couple of Pokésnacks and watches affectionately as the two jump up to catch them. Once all of the Pokésnacks are gone, Eevee runs up to him, asking for more. “I don’t have any left” He says. She gives him a look and swats her tail in his face. He rolls his eyes at her and gives her a pat on the head. “You did well in the battle” He finally says before he recalls them back to their Pokéball. It’s time to go.

 

\---

 

When Red arrives in Cerulean, Green has already left his footprints on the gym. The gym leader is desperately trying to get sand out of her hair and looks like she could definitely use a nice, relaxing, day off.  
  
“The nerve of that kid. To think that he’d stoop to such low tactics.” Red hears her mumble. He feels kind of bad for how her gym looks so he grabs a broom and helps her tidy it up, even if it means that he’ll be further behind in catching up to Green.  
  
“Thanks kid. You’re alright. Way better than the guy who caused all of this. I’ll tell you, this kid sends out a Sandshrew and I can’t help think ‘Is he dumb or what?’ Maybe it’s a rookie mistake or something and he doesn’t know that one little dip in the pool and it’s all over for him. But this kid just has Sandshrew bounce from mat to mat, spraying sand everywhere without even attacking, and before I know it, the whole gym is covered in sand. Then he just calls the Sandshrew back and sends out Eevee. The poor thing looks terrified, being surrounded with so much water.  
  
My Staryu attacks and the Eevee falls in the water and guess what. She can’t even swim. Her brown fur is dragging her down and I know that if I don’t do something, that poor thing may very well just die. So I have Staryu save her and I think maybe the kid has learned his lesson because he takes the Eevee back. Now get this. He sends out a Pidgeotto and has him flap his wings. The force combined with the sand creates a _sandstorm_ and before I know it, my Staryu is out cold.  
  
So I send out Starmie and he calls out a Rattata. For a while, it’s the same deal like with Sandshrew, except the Rattata can’t throw sand everywhere. Then as a water gun finally hits, the Rattata falls in the water and funnily enough, it can’t swim. At this point, I want to kick the kid out of the gym and have him arrested for Pokémon abuse because all throughout, he’s smirking this arrogant smirk, but the battle isn’t over yet, so I ask my Starmie to help that poor Rattata and once he gets close enough, the guy tells the Rattata to bite. A Dark type over against a half psychic Pokémon knocks my Starmie right out.  
  
That boy was a genius. A cold, cruel genius.  I didn’t want to give him a badge but rules say blah blah blah. Anyway kid, sorry to bore you with my story. Let’s get to battling.”  
  
Red easily beats Misty with a few sparks from Pikachu. She compliments him on his bond with Pokémon and happily hands him the badge. “You got a good heart kid” She says and he accepts the badge as images of Green appear in his mind.

Green knew all along what he was doing. He had it planned from the start, and although he didn’t originally plan on using Sandshrew or Eevee like that, the Pokémon pushed to go with his dangerous plan because they trusted him enough to know what he was doing.  
  
As a reward for Pokémon’s bravery, Green buys everyone a helping of Pokésnacks.

\---  
  
Green meets Red just outside of Cerulean city. Still teeming with confidence, he challenges Red to a Pokémon battle. He knows how type advantages work, yet when he’s battling with Red, it’s like his mind goes completely blank. He’s staring at Red and every move he makes. He takes notice of how Red’s eyebrows scrunch together, or how he bites his bottom lip, deep in thought while the battle goes on. Before he knows it, Red calls out for Pikachu to use thunderbolt and Green’s Pidgeotto is down.  
  
Fumbling around his belt, Green sends out Sandshrew. Red calls Pikachu back and sends out the newest addition to his team; a Squirtle. With one simple bubble beam, Sandshrew goes down and Green is left with only his Rattata and Eevee.  
  
He sends out the purple rodent only to have it be stomped on by a Charmander’s ember. Thus, he’s down to just Eevee, so he sends her out to fight, and Red sends out Pikachu.

  
Green’s panicking by now because he’s down to one Pokémon and Red still has all of his. He switches to playing defensively and although there are plenty opportunities to hit, he doesn’t take the shot. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees crimson orbs constantly flicker, following Pikachu’s and Eevee’s every movement. He sees Red trace the edge of his cap and Green knows that he’s lost.  
  
Eevee faints.  
  
Green pays the price.  
  
"Hey, Red, guess what?” His tone isn’t mean nor does it show any hints of malice. On the contrary, he sounds almost too giddy and cheerful, and it reminds Red of how Green used to talk to him before their friendship dissolved.  
  
“I went to Bill's and got him to show me his rare Pokémon. That added a lot of pages to my Pokédex. After all, Bill's world famous as a PokéManiac. He invented the Pokémon Storage System on PC. Since you're using his system, go thank him.” He explains rather helpfully. Red can’t help but question the Gym Leaders he has encountered. Had they been fighting the same Green?

  
To Red, Green seems so relaxed yet slightly sad. It’s a huge contrast with how the Gym Leaders described him. Yet the sincerity doesn’t last very long because soon he’s back to his old attitude.  
  
“Well, I better get rolling. Smell ya later.” He drawls out with the same coy grin and disappears without a trace.

 

\---  
  
Green hates the fact that he lost.  
  
Green hates the fact that he’s more concerned with Red than his loss.  
  
Green hates the fact that he thinks Red is cute.  
  
And while he tries to wash out the dark dust left on Eevee’s fur from all those electric attacks, Green hates himself as he thinks of a million things he’d like to do to Red.  
  
\---

 

  
Green’s voice echoes around one of the hallways of the S.S. Anne.  
“Bonjour. Red, imagine seeing you here. Were you really invited?”  
  
For once, Green sounds happy. He’s the life of the party, charming everyone with his smile and small talk. His Pokémon are tucked safely away in the pocket of his suit. A suit he looks damn fine in.  
  
Red pales in comparison. He’s wearing the same clothes he always wears except they’re a little bit worse for wear. His Pikachu sits soundly on his shoulders, like always.

 

“So how’s your Pokédex coming along? I already caught 40 kinds, pal.” He asks cheerfully.  
Red has four Pokémon on him and that’s enough. He’s been trying to catch a few Pokémon for Professor Oak, but he doesn’t have as much as Green, maybe falling ten species behind.

  
Green walks closer to Red and slings his arm over the smaller boy’s shoulder. The action seems almost too comforting, something that Green needs. It’s something that Red needs but is too baffled to comprehend. Searching for answers, Red turns his head to look up at Green.  
  
Their faces are too close, almost touching. Green looks at Red with an expression Red’s never seen before, but before Red can understand what is happening, Green takes his arm away and quickly walks a few paces back.  
  
“Let’s battle”  
  
Red fumbles around with his Pokéball. He seems more distraught than usual and his face seems a bit more flushed than normally. Green’s facial hue mirrors Red’s perfectly, but neither of them mention anything.

  
Green immediately sends out Sandshrew and Red goes all out with Wartortle. Green can’t get Red’s warmth out of his mind and he keeps on making careless mistakes. He becomes too frantic and ends up calling out all the wrong moves. Wartortle beats Green’s Sandshrew with ease and Green sends out Raticate. Raticate is much faster than the turtle Pokémon and it’s Green’s win, for the round.  
  
Red sends out Charmeleon and even Raticate can’t dodge as the whole hallway becomes engulfed in Charmeleon’s flamethrower.  Raticate suffers some serious burns and Green has no choice but to call him back. He quickly follows up with Pidgeotto, thinking this time he can cool down some of Charmeleon’s flames with those powerful gusts, but Red takes Charmeleon back and sends out Pikachu instead.  
  
Green sends out Eevee and it’s the same story over again. The two Pokémon seem to be on par and Green can’t help but stare at Red as Red studies the Pokémon with incredible focus.

 

Then Red slips up.  
  
He notices Green staring at him and his scarlet orbs go wide, his cheeks turning a similar shade as his eyes. Lost in thought, he calls out a thunder bolt just a few seconds late, and by that time, Eevee has already tackled Pikachu into fainting.

 

Green’s lips curl up into a smirk, but it’s not one of victory. He knows that he can’t win.  
  
Red looks away from him and sends out a Bulbasaur. Eevee gets caught in Bulbasaur’s vine whip and the battle is concluded.

"I heard there was a Cut master on board. But, he was just a seasick, old man. But Cut itself is really useful. You should go see him.“ Green comments once all of his Pokémon are safely back in their Pokéball. He walks up to Red and gives his shoulder an affectionate squeeze.  
  
“Smell ya”  
  
And he walks away.  
  
Once he’s finally out of Red’s presence, his head begins to clear and he remembers his Raticate’s burns. He doesn’t have any burn heals so he has to hurry to the nearest Pokémon centre.  
  
He runs until his legs can barely hold him up any longer. He can feel the burn in his knees and he imagines that’s what Raticate must be feeling. It drives him forward, makes him push himself to the limit.  
  
He bursts through the Pokémon Centre doors and, exasperated, runs up to Nurse Joy and hands her his Pokéball.  He inhales sharply, the air burning his lungs, as he watches the nurse walk away with his Pokémon.  
  
\---  
  
Red stands outside Lt. Surge’s gym after his battle ends. Funnily enough, he expected Lt. Surge to ramble on and on about Green’s strategy and supposed mistreatment of his Pokémon. He doesn’t and Red feels the slight need to prod. Wordlessly, he walks over the list of victors and points to Green’s name.  
  
“What about him?” Surge asks as he leans closer to get a better look.  
  
“How was he?” Red mumbles quietly and Lt. Surge really has to lean in to hear him.  
  
“Oh. The kid was tough, I can tell ya that. Came in with an Arcanine, didn’t say much. Looked determined though, and sad. ‘e won and left without a word.”  
  
Next was Erica and her story was the same as Surge’s, except she seemed more distraught about her precious Pokémon, completely heartbroken over the fact that they got burned _again._

 

Red can’t help wonder what happened to Green to make the stories of the gym leaders change so drastically. He hopes that he gets to see him soon, even if he doesn’t know what to say.  
  
He never does know what to say.  
  
\---

  
Green is just about to exit the Pokémon tower in Lavender town when he sees Red. For once, Green wants to avoid his rival but Red spots him first and quickly approaches him with a determined look on his face. Green’s face is pale, as he notices, and his eyes are puffy and rimmed with mauve.  
  
“Hey Red, what brings you here? Your Pokémon sure don’t look dead” He says, voice cracking at the very end. Red grabs for his Pokéball, ready to repeat the same story over again, but something is definitely off. He’s about to back down when Green actually challenges him.

 

“I can at least make them faint. Let’s go, pal.” He says rather begrudgingly and sends out his Arcanine. This fight is different than the previous ones they’ve shared. Besides the different team consisting of Arcanine, Exeggcute, Garyados, Pigeotto and Eevee, Green’s strategy has also changed. He plays extremely on the defensive side, almost as if he’s afraid of something.  
  
And he is.  
  
Red’s Pokémon quickly overpower his because Green doesn’t have enough fight left within him.  
  
“You got me there, Red” He says with a straight face. He hands Red the prize money and walks off without his signature phrase.

 

“Ah what a foolish boy, spending almost all of his money on a tombstone for such a common Pokémon. Most people don’t buy graves for simple Pokémon like Raticates” Red overhears someone’s conversation. He can’t help but think of Green.  
  
All of the clues add up. The pained expression, the welling tears in his eyes, the lack of Raticate on his team. Red looks at the crumpled bills in his hands and immediately runs out of the tower in hopes of finding Green. As soon as he steps out, the wind prickles at his skin and almost threatens to throw his cap off his head. By the time Red can finally see without squinting, Green is nowhere to be found.  
  
\---  
  
Green lost a friend due to his selfishness when he was a child.  
  
Green lost a friend due to his selfishness when he was a teenager on his Pokémon journey.  
  
Green can’t help feeling useless.  
  
He almost lost another friend but luckily the nurse saved him.  
  
Green promised himself not to use that friend again for his own selfish needs.  
  
He thinks back to that that now distant memory.  
  
He thinks of how he stood on route 8 before that patch of grass and released Sandshrew from his Pokéball. How he looked at the Pokémon and told him that he didn’t want to endanger him. There were other Sandshrews in that patch of grass. Green was sure that he’d fit in just fine, so he broke the Pokéball in two and left.  
  
Sandshrew had suffered enough at his expense. Now he is free.

  
\---

  
Green sees Red as he’s about to enter the Boss’s door at the team rocket hideout. Panicked, he runs up to Red and grabs his shoulder, pulling him back and stopping him from going through.  
  
Red is startled at first and Pikachu looks ready to attack, but both relax as soon as they realize it’s only Green.

 

"What kept you, Red? I thought you might turn up if I waited here” He says energetically but it’s hard to keep his true feelings concealed. He’s worried.  
  
Green stares deeply into Red’s eyes, his eyebrows furrowing as he loses himself. For the first time, Red can see how much pain Green’s emerald orbs hold.  
  
He’s absolutely mesmerized by just how much he can see and, unconsciously, he leans in closer to get a better look. Green feels the same way, and before either of them know it, their faces are only five centimetres apart.  
  
And Green can actually _smell_ Red; a mixture of pine and Red’s own intoxicating scent.  
  
Green’s the one to break off their staring contest first. He looks to the side, heart hammering away in his chest.  
  
“Battle me” He says almost breathlessly. This time, he’s more desperate. The stakes are high this time and it’s not just Green’s Pokémon that could be in danger, it’s Red too.  
  
Team Rocket is a terrible organization. Their crimes go beyond just stealing and abducting Pokémon. Violence, pillaging, and in some reported cases, rape, and murder of both humans and Pokémon.  
  
Green’s afraid of what Giovanni will do to him, so he can’t possibly let Red go in there. And it’s not just Team Rocket, because even they are a small part of a greater design.  
  
The battle between the two boys is intense, but Green still falls short and his Pokémon all faint. There is nothing Green can do to help Red except run away and hope Red follows his lead.

 

“Don’t do it Red. Don’t go in there. They’re all just using you. Don’t you get it, it’s an inside job.” Green says. His voice is so low, threatening even, that Red flinches back. He gives Green a small shake of the head, signalling that he’ll be fine, and he turns to walk through the door. Before his foot can pass the threshold, Green grabs him by the shoulders and drags him closer. Even if their bodies are at such close proximity once again, this time is different. Green is too absorbed by paranoia to care.  
  
“I’m serious Red. You can’t trust anyone.” He whispers, his voice so grim that it sends an unpleasant shiver down Red’s spine. Green’s hold on him is too strong and it makes Red feel uncomfortable.  He can feel Green’s fingernails digging into his flesh and for the first time, Red is frightened.  
  
“Then how can I trust you?” He says quietly and swats Green’s arms away. Green opens his mouth to say something, the promptly closes it. He looks at Red as if he was a murderer. Red scowls at him and turns away, stepping through the automatic doors and disappearing with a little click as the black glass clicks back together in place.

  
Green doesn’t know what to feel, or maybe he does. His emotions are all over the place. “God dammit Red” He exclaims through gritted teeth as he leans his weight forward and puts it all into punching a wall. Pain jolts up his entire arm and perhaps he’s broken a few bones. He can faintly feel warm liquid begin to ooze out of his knuckles, but he’s not very aware of it because of how numbingly agonizing the sensation in his arm is.  
  
“Be careful” He whispers to himself, directing the message at the thought of Red.

 

Green is actually right. You can’t trust anyone.  
  
Giovanni and the President of Silph Co. have a very intricate and complex relationship. Giovanni needs to obtain the Masterball in order to capture a failed experiment, but he cannot just take it away from the President because the police would be even more on his tail and once he did contain his experiment, there was no way he would be trusted to hand it over.  
  
The President can’t just give it away either to Giovanni and be branded as a criminal’s partner, nor can he give it away to any random trainer. That’s why they need Red, and as soon as Red defeats Giovanni, he is given the Masterball as a reward.  
  
As red takes the Masterball, his mind gets invaded by thoughts of Green. He feels as if he’s done something wrong but being the socially awkward turtle he is, he’s not exactly sure what to do about it. Before he can think of how close he and Green were to each other just moments ago, the President interrupts his thoughts.  
  
“Don’t go throwing that Ball around at any wild Pokémon, tough. Save it for someone very important, one of its kind.” The President says.  
  
Those words echo around Red’s head until he reaches the Saffron Gym and faces off against Sabrina.

 

“When my last opponent left, I had a vision that you would appear…you and him must be very closely tied together, am I wrong?” She muses with closed eyes. Red makes no effort to deny her statement, nor does he make any effort to support it.  
  
“I had not anticipated defeat on both accounts. He was indeed a formidable opponent. When he fought, he didn’t seem to use his Pokémon very well, but I could see kindness in his heart. That boy is troubled. He has a sadness within him that even the bond between him and his Pokémon cannot cure.” Red isn’t exactly sure how to react to her words.  
  
He opens his mouth to say something but she holds up a finger and silences him.  
  
“I know. Go to him. Choose your path carefully.”

\---

Green is on Arcanine’s back, riding away towards Fuchsia City. Eevee is sitting right in front on him on the large dog’s head.  
  
Green doesn’t know what to believe in anymore. He starts questioning his purpose in life, wondering if it’s really worth it. He doesn’t seem to be very popular with anyone around him, for that matter. Everyone seems to hate him and rumours spread. People give him dirty looks as he rides on by and Green wants to bury himself deep in the ground.  
  
He looks at Eevee, her bright brown eyes reflect the moonlight. He smiles at her affectionately and burrows his face into Arcanine’s fur.

 

\---

 

Red arrives in Fuchsia and hopes to meet Green there. Determined, he walks into Koga’s gym and immediately gets confused by the tricky glass maze.

 

“The last kid could do this in five minutes” He hears a voice echo around him. Red stops dead in his tracks. Will Koga have something to say about Green?  
  
With this thought in mind, Red breaks into a run and ends up running face first into a glass wall that guards Koga. Holding his now bloody nose, Red side steps the glass wall and faces off with Koga, who, by now, is quite amused by Red’s antics, but also slightly concerned about the boy’s dripping nose.

 

“A mere child like you dares to challenge me? Very well, I shall show you true terror as a ninja master! You shall feel the despair of poison and sleep techniques!” The gym leader exclaims and the battle begins.  
  
Red’s Charizard is the one that does most of the work, taking out both Venonat and Venomoth in one go. Wheezing is a bit trickier, but luckily for him, he got himself a Lapras that knows psychic from Silph Co. Wheezing goes down with one hit.   Muk is the hardest because he knows both disable and poison gas. He sends out Blastoise and with a hydro cannon, he washes away all the toxicity, and Muk along with the waves.  
  
“Congratulations kid. You fought with a lot of tenacity and have proven your worth! You have what it takes to be a true ninja! Here! Take the SoulBadge!” Red expects him to throw in something like “Unlike my last opponent” or “Just like my last opponent.”

 

Koga hands him the badge and his heart begins to feels heavy in his chest.  He doesn’t realize how much he really wants Koga to start talking about Green, and his wish never comes true.

 

 ---

 

Green is lazily lying outside the Cinnabar mansion, enjoying the soft breeze with Eevee fast asleep on his stomach. He holds up the little pink badge and inspects it under the gleaming rays of the sun.  
  
The Volcano badge is safely tucked away in his badge case too, but Green finds the Soul badge to be more interesting.

  
He finds his mind drifting towards thoughts of Red. He wonders how far he’s gotten and if he’s any closer to catching up to him. He thinks back to his battle with Koga and the fumes of the toxic gas, and suddenly he feels like his mind is getting clouded with that same poison, because now all he can think about is what he said to Red and what Red said to him during their last encounter.  
  
As he turns the badge over in his hand, he accidentally lets it go and it falls to the ground. His thoughts of Red fade from his consciousness as he attempts to look for it among the charred grass around him. *  
  
\---

 

Red obtains the Volcano badge and at this point he has given hope. He doesn’t even bother to ask about Green and instead chooses to leave as Blaine drives himself into an intellectual stupor by trying to comprehend how Red got past all of his traps without breaking a sweat.  
  
\---

 

Green is walking through the long grass on route 22 when he spots Red walking the same way, just a few paces in front of him. Coyly, he walks up to Red without making a sound and just as he is behind the male, he reaches up and pokes the pressure point on the side of Red’s waist.  
  
Red jumps up and quickly turns to look at his ‘attacker’. He’s ready to get into a fight if he needs to and is all pumped and ready to go, yet completely relaxes when he notices that it’s just Green.

 

Green looks tired. His eyes have dark circles underneath them and his face looks thinner, his cheeks almost caving in. But Green is more worried about Red because of the giant purple bruise he has on his face and around his nose. Concern gains control of his face and Green can’t help but lift his hand and gently brush Red’s cheek with the back of his fingers.  
  
 Red notices the bandage wrapped around Green’s gentle fingers. His mind stops thinking as he grabs hold of Green’s hand and slightly entwines their fingers together. “Green” Red whispers rather too longingly and Green almost loses himself in Red’s voice.  
  
Almost.  
  
Quickly, he pulls his hand away and gets as far away from the boy as he can while still being within hearing range. His cocky voice pierces the air between them.

 

“So…you’re going to the Pokémon League?” He says almost absentmindedly. He doesn’t wait for a response. “That’s cool.” Slowly, he unhooks a Pokéball from his belt and enlarges it. Red knows the drill but wishes Green would stop trying to battle him every time they met. Green sometimes wishes he could not battle Red himself, but he does so anyway for two reasons.

 

The first reason is to prove himself.  
  
The second reason is a distraction.  
  
Too many times now, Green has come so close, so close to Red, and battling has been the only way he could leave. So, he will continue to fight Red until the day he dies.

 

Thus, Green calls out Rhyhorn and Red sends out Blastoise.  
  
It doesn’t take a genius to predict the outcome of the battle. Red wins, Green loses.  
  
Green always loses. And now he’s in even more of a hurry to leave than before.  
  
“Thanks for the warm up, that really loosened me up. I’m ready for the Pokémon League.” He says abruptly. Then, without thinking, he adds “Red, you need practice, but you knew that already, didn’t you?” This time, his voice is cold and cruel, but Green doesn’t care anymore. He’s done.  
  
“Smell ya”  
  
The parting phrase holds so much malice that even Red is taken aback. Without casting a single glance back at Red, Green calls out his Pidgeot and flies away.

 

Red won the battle, but ultimately he’s lost the war.

 

\---

 

Green has done it. He’s beaten the Elite Four and is now the world reigning champion. His grandfather is due to arrive at any moment now, no doubt to praise him for all his hard work and achievements. Green feels the grin peel back his lips. He’s anticipating what it will feel like when Gramps finally tells him how proud he is.  
  
He couldn’t possibly be happier.  
  
Yet why is there a nagging sensation prodding at the back of his head?  
  
The door creaks open. Green’s eyes bug out of their sockets and he jumps up and down in his place.  
  
Then.  
  
His heart stops.  
  
It’s Red.

 

And this time, it’s Red’s turn to speak.  
  
“Green, let’s battle”

 

\---  
  
Within the short span of an hour, Green’s victory is revoked. He’s no longer the champion and instead, Red parades around with _his_ title. As luck would have it, just in time for Professor Oak to arrive.  
  
“Congratulations Red. I knew you could do it.” Oak exclaims happily, completely ignoring Green’s achievement. He does, however, make a comment about Green.  
  
“Green, why can’t you be more like Red?” He asks. Green feels pain in his chest. He can’t breathe. For twenty seconds, he physically cannot inhale or exhale anything.  
  
And he snaps.  
  
“Well you fucking know what? Who the fuck even wants to _be_ like Red? I certainly don’t, because Red is just a loser. Too much of a pussy to chase his own dreams so he has to steal mine. Thanks a lot, Red” He spits out with so much venom in his voice that he’s putting Koga to shame.  
  
As he insults Red, he slowly starts backing away towards the door and once he’s finished, he lifts up his middle finger and storms out of the room.

_“Green!”_ Professor Oak hisses, but it’s too late.  
  
Red’s heart breaks.  
  
Green’s has broken a long time ago.

 

\---

 

_; ; Seasons change and flowers grow  
Tidal waves move to and fro  
Wash away the tears to the sea  
Shattered glass opens a door to reality ; ; _

_  
_ \--- _  
  
_ Is Green the villain or is he the victim?  
  
Was he born into the wrong family? Was he raised wrong? Or was he perhaps not even raised to be anything at all?

 

Green was chasing after approval he never had as a child. Yet what he didn’t realize was that the approval he so desperately _wanted_ wasn’t the approval he so desperately _needed_.  His desire for acceptance drove him so far into a corner that he didn’t realize just how far he’s pushed the one person he’s ever truly cared about.  
  
His late parents, his sister, his grandfather; he wanted to bring honour to them all but in trying so hard, he failed.  
  
He failed his family.  
  
He failed his Pokémon.

He failed himself.  
  
But worst of all, he failed Red.  
  
And Red left.

 

After winning the title of champion, Red ran away without leaving a single trace behind.  
  
And suddenly all eyes were on Green.  
  
“Green this, Green that, Green can you take over the Viridian Gym?”  
  
Green was never their first choice for anything, but without their precious little Red, they have to resort to their back up plan.  
  
That’s all Green is to them.  
  
Red had it easy. He ran away from the burden of reality.  
  
Green had it hard. He chose the harder path and stayed. The burden fell on him.  
  
He was supposed to be on top of the world, but now he is giving away badges to little snot nosed brats who treat their Pokémon like play things. He has kids coming in and using ground type moves against Pidgeot and Ghost type moves against Eevee and honestly, he just wants to rip his hair out at times. He might as well because he swears that he’s found a few grey streaks here and there.  
  
From stress.

 

\---

  
_; ; Lie to me so easily  
Tell me nothing but deceptions  
If it means you’ll be with me  
Then you can fool me again ; ; _

_  
_ \--- _  
_  
A year after having started his crappy ass job, he finally finds Red.  
  
Mt. Silver; they say there is a lone trainer on the highest peak.

 

Green knows that it’s him, he can feel it in his gut. He’s had a whole year to think about Red and now he wants to be convinced, more than anything, that he will find his long lost rival on top of that mountain.  
  
In that year, Green realized a lot of things about.  
  
For one, he didn’t give two shits about his Grandfather’s opinion anymore.  
  
For another, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and Green’s heart has grown so _fond_ that you could just put it in a pot and call it cheese. He knows that there is only one person who can cure him of his loneliness, and he also knows that it has to be a team effort.  
  
The problem is, Green is not ready.  
  
First, he must face him and beat him, before he can face himself and overcome his own demons.  
  
So, he leaves the gym and doesn’t give two shits if people come knocking.

\---

  
It takes him two days to climb up that damn mountain and by the time he reaches the summit, he swears that his nose is about to fall off. His bones are shaking so much from the cold that he has to have Pidgeot fly him up the last few feet, and even the well-insulated bird has trouble keeping warm, so for the time being, Green sends him back to his Pokéball home.  
  
He walks a few more paces and that’s when he sees him.  
  
Immediately, Green is overpowered by worry because Red isn’t wearing anything except his usual clothes. For a moment, he thinks Red is actually dead because he’s just standing there, eyes closed.  
  
“Red!” He shouts over the wind. The dark haired male opens his eyes abruptly and stares ahead at Green.  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ” Green swears under his breath and runs up to where Red is standing.  
“Are you fucking insane? Are you trying to kill yourself?” His voice is shrill and he’s close to breaking down. Immediately, he unzips his jacket, grabs the edges, and pulls the shorter male against his body, making sure to wrap the material of the jacket around him.  
  
He tells himself that it’s only because Red’s body is freezing, but then again why should he explain himself? He admits that he fucking loves the feeling of Red’s body pressed against him, even if Red is practically a standing Popsicle.  
  
They stand huddled together for a minute or two and Red can feel the warmth seeping in. Slowly, he wraps his arms around Green in return.  
  
However, things are not as simple as that. Green knows that the only way he can truly find the courage to apologize to Red is through battling him and coming out victorious. Red, on the other hand, is looking for an opponent to beat him because he, too, can only apologize once his defeat is eminent.  
  
Thus, after Red is finally dressed in warm clothing, the two battle.  
  
Green loses.  
  
But he doesn’t give up.  
  
The next week, he comes back to check if Red has not died of hypothermia and once he’s reassured that he’s perfectly healthy, they battle.  
  
Often, Green brings back supplies with him because he’s afraid that Red will die of starvation without him, and although they don’t speak a word to each other, somehow their body language does the talking for them.  
  
Green thinks that maybe he can actually be happy. His unspoken relationship with Red is progressing and Green is getting closer to being able to beat him.  
  
He actually finds comfort and friendship with a certain girl, Leaf, and she is extremely helpful with consoling him down in his “Viridian City World”. Although he wishes that it could be Red down there with him, he’s happy to have Leaf, and for a while he’s content.

 

\---  
  
A year later everything falls apart.  
  
Because Daisy is dead.  
  
He’s standing there in the pouring rain, his black umbrella forgotten on the ground because he can’t will himself to pick it up. The coffin is in the ground already but Green can barely see it through his clouded eyes. He’s crying so hard that it’s nearly impossible to breathe, and for once he wishes it was him in that coffin and not Daisy.  
  
He stops visiting Red.  
  
He can’t bring himself to climb that damn mountain while knowing that he could let go at any second and plummet to his death, and he would be content with that. He hopes that Red will come down to see why Green stopped coming. He hopes that Red will come down to comfort him.  
  
Red never comes.  
  
Green is truly alone.  
  
\---

 

 Green distances himself from others. The Gym is only open two times a week now and even then, Green only takes one person on per day. He’s getting complaints not only from his challengers, but from the League too.  
  
But Green doesn’t care. He just doesn’t.  
  
Leaf notices his distorted mood and tries to help him but she doesn’t know how. She tries to talk to him but he doesn’t reply, she tries to be nice to him but he’s unresponsive. There is nothing she can do for him and it bothers her.  
  
Eventually, she can’t take his constant mood swings anymore so she leaves him while telling him to go see a psychiatrist.  
  
Green doesn’t want to at first, but in the end he agrees.  
  
\---  
  
The psychiatrist gives him a prescription for Xanax. Green goes to his local pharmacy and picks the order up. The doctor says that things may get worse at first and that he shouldn’t lose hope, but really Green doesn’t care what the doctor says anymore and takes the pills just for the hell of it.  
  
Within two weeks he feels different. Slightly happier but not very. The pills aren’t making him any sadder and that’s a plus.  
  
By now, Green likes to call them happy pills because they make him happy, so he keeps on taking them.  
  
Day by day, people are seeing improvements. Green is back to being optimistic, to being confident. His personality is much better now that it was years ago. He’s no longer rude or abrasive, and instead he treats those around him kindly.  
  
Leaf takes notice of this and she can finally allow herself to be around him again.  
  
The pills are working.  
  
\---  
  
Green contemplates going up to see Red but in the end he decides against it. It’s been two years since he’s last seen him and Green thinks that Red just doesn’t care for him at all.  
  
One day, Green forgets to take the pills for three days straight, and in those three days he starts thinking a lot about Red. His mind constantly shifts to how Red’s eyes gleam in the moonlight, to how soft yet coarse his hair is, or how cute Red looks when he’s blushing.  
  
His mind wonders to the various aspects of their relationship, or lack thereof, and Green can’t help but think that he misses Red.  
  
He misses Red a lot and he misses thinking about Red.  
  
The next day he decides to not take the pills again.  
  
And the next day he skips too.

 

And the next day.  
  
It’s like the happy pills have been supressing all of his negative emotions, and have thus been supressing the emotions most closely tied in with the guilt he felt for mistreating Red. Now that he’s stopped taking them, Red is all that he can think about.  
  
Whenever he closes his emerald orbs, crimson ones appear behind his eyelids. Ha cannot concentrate because his mind keeps on dashing to Red.  
  
It gets to the point where literally everything reminds him or Red.  
  
A boy comes in to challenge him with a Pikachu.  
  
Red.

 

He sees a girl with dark hair on the street.  
  
Red.  
  
He looks at Eevee perched on his shoulder.  
  
Even she reminds him of Red.  
  
All of his Pokémon remind him of Red.  
  
He panics, he can’t think straight anymore, not when she is around reminding him of Red. So he grabs a Pokéball and recalls Eevee.

 

His Pokémon only come out when he wants to train them or to fight other trainers that come to his gym, which only equates to about three times a week.  
  
He can’t bear the pain anymore.

 

His whole world is painted red and he’s the only one spot that’s painted green.  
  
He thinks he’s going crazy and he probably is by now.  
  
Oak doesn’t visit him because why should he?  
  
He’s just a disappointment anyway.  
  
_Right?_

 

**\--- Right. ---**

  
Red never visits him because why should he?  
  
He doesn’t deserve Red.  
  
_Right?_  
  
**\--- Right. ---  
**  
Green doesn’t _deserve_ anything anymore.  
  
His life could have been given to Daisy. She could be alive.  
  
And he’s to blame.  
  
_Right?_  
  
**\--- Right. ---**  
  
If only he had been there a minute earlier.  
  
_He’s a failure._  
  
If only they had left a minute earlier.  
  
_He let her die._  
  
She would have crossed the road a minute earlier.  
  
_He’s guilty._

\---

 

He’s forgotten about the pills.  
  
Every day, his mind is plagued by vile thoughts. His mind feels numb, almost as if he is dead inside.  
  
He remembers the toxic words leaving his mouth.  
  
“Red is just a loser”  
  
They echo around his skull.

 

Green knows better than that. Red is better than him. Red is literally the most perfect person Green knows. Red doesn’t have friends, he’s alone, but he’s strong.  
  
Red can fight.  
  
And not just with Pokémon.  
  
Green wants to be like Red.  
  
_But he can’t._  
  
Green wants to be _with_ Red.  
  
_But he won’t._  
  
Because Red hates him.  
  
_Because Green hates himself._  
  
\---

 

Green doesn’t sleep a wink.  
  
His insides are plagued with butterflies because he knows something.  
  
Everybody hates him.  
  
_We all hate you, Green._  
  
The rain howls outside like an ethereal spirit.  
  
_Green, Green, Green._  
  
Green can’t keep himself from crying.  
  
**_Die._**  
  
\---

  
Green goes to visit Leaf the next day. He’s the only person he can trust with such a matter. There is no turning back now, Green knows that, so he has to see her one last time.  
  
His Pokémon are unhappy, he knows that. He cannot change that for them in the way that they would want him to.

  
When she answers the door, he gives her a big smile. It’s fake, of course, but he doesn’t want her to know how he’s actually dying inside.  
  
“Hi” He says quietly. She leans in to give him a hug and invite him inside but he refuses, justifying it by saying that his business with her won’t take long.  
  
Wordlessly, Green kneels down and takes his Pokéballs off his belt. He sends out Eevee first. The rest of his Pokémon follow in tow.  
  
They know what is going on, and Eevee is the first one to jump at him, swatting him in the face with her tail and whining with concern. Green doesn’t pet her, like he would usually. Instead, he picks her up and hands her to Leaf, along with the rest of his Pokéballs.  
  
“Please look after them for a while” He pleads with her. She has no idea what this ordeal is even about but, reluctantly, she accepts without much question. He wants her to look after his Pokémon, and she can’t refuse.  
  
She doesn’t know what Green wants to do.  
  
But his Pokémon do.  
  
As he walks away, Eevee lets out a shrill cry.  
  
The rest follow her lead.

 

\---

  
Green remembers.  
  
The happy pills make him happy.  
  
_So very happy, Green._  
  
He finds them in his medical cabinet.  
  
_Don’t you want to be happy, Green?_  
  
There are ten left.  
  
_You do._  
  
He takes them all in one go.  
  
_You want to._

And he drowns himself in alcohol. _  
  
Be Happy. _  
  
And goes to sleep.  
  
_Green._  
  
\---  
   
After years of training, Res is finally defeated. A kid with golden eyes rejoices as he holds up his prize money. The money passed on from Green, to Red, to this kid.  
  
_Green._  
  
Red can’t believe it.

 

He’s lost.  
  
Yet he’s never felt better.  
  
The kid asks him if he’s going to come down the mountain, now that’s he’s been defeated.  
  
Red’s lips curl into a smile, and for the first time in years, Red speaks.  
  
_“Yes”_  
  
He’s ready to face Green.

\---

 

He’s too late.  
  
The grass he is standing on is withered and yellow.  
  
_It’s dead._  
  
No longer painted green, the world appears grey through his tear filled eyes.  
  
Grey like the tomb stone he’s looking at.  
  
\---

  
_; ; You have three faces  
You live through three phases  
You’re born, you live, and you die ; ;  
  
_ \---END ---

**Author's Note:**

> *If you don’t know what the Soul Badge looks like, I highly suggest you look it up. 
> 
> Points I want to make:  
> Green’s team is a combination of his team in Yellow and Soulsilver/Heartgold. Obviously changes throughout the story.
> 
> I was going to write a happy ending for this, but then decided against it.


End file.
